|
|
|
October 30th, 2005
07:06 pm
I haven't written in this thing in forever. Since school started. School is harder than it was last yr. big surprise, right? I don't think I want to talk about school, as much as I want to talk about Will. He is going through almost the same thing I went through with Duane, before we went out. I hate revisiting the time but it also helps in a way to talk about it w/someone who is going through it. When I used to be upset last yr and call him for advice, even though Will was so wonderful about it, I didn't think he understood and was just telling me things out of judgement. Not that he judges me but I felt at that moment in my life, everyone was judging me and my poor decision. But now that he's going through it, and I'm relating my stories with what he is going through, it helps. I know, I hate going back, but it helps talking to someone about it who actually understands now. Before, anyone providing advice, except for Jon, said things which are way easier said than done. You know "what are you doing to yourself, and blah, blah, blah." And even though they were right, they didn't understand that when emotions are involved, and when you really really like the person, it is the hardest thing in the world to stop. To stop what you're doing and say that I value myself enough to not continue. But when you're with the person, you're not thinking about values or what other people are thinking. I'm thinking about how wonderful it would be if that other person just dropped their significant other and chose to be with me. Yes, chose. Not choosing just to hook up, but choosing me, finally. There is always hope. But I think talking about the situation is helping me slowly get over it, if that's possible. I dunno, I prolly don't make sense, but I feel so bad for Will b/c I know what it's like- to be so happy when I think there's hope and then being mad at myself and sad and then mad again. Those are times I hope never to repeat, they were horrible. I know he's probably not going to take my advice, b/c I was too stubborn to listen to others' advice, but Will is a much better person than me, and he will get over it. We all do, eventually...I hope.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/acedia/littlegent/sick.gif) sick
Current Music: Breathe Me
|
August 30th, 2005
09:27 pm - Hawaii
Hawaii was amazing, beautiful, spectacular...I could quote a thesaurus or I could tell you what I did. So we went on a cruise for a wk in Hawaii, started out in Honolulu but did not have time to actually see the city itself, or Pearl Harbor for that matter, a site we were interested in witnessing. But the ship set sail that night and we were off into the Pacific Ocean. The first day we were in Hawaii the big island, in Hilo and spent the day visiting an active volcanic crater. Very cool and very different from the one I saw in Costa Rica. This was much much bigger. The second day we were in Maui and spent the day looking at scenery, a plantation and a very cool ocean center. The ocean center is basically an aquarium but not as grand as the Baltimore Harbor Aquarium b/c this ocean center had marine life native to Hawaii, so that was pretty cool. They also had this dome like room where it was filled with water all around, so where we were sitting, there were fishes and sting rays and swimming all around us. Pretty nifty. Then that night we went to a luau where we had native food and watched Hawaiian dancing and fire tricks. Well it was ok but a typical Maui beach was right there and my sister and I ran off to watch the sun set and take amazing photographs. It was spectacular. We spent the third day in Maui again, this time doing a lot of shopping. The fourth day we were back on the big island of Hawaii at Kona. Kona is the start of the Ironman Triathalon and is also a historic point. My sister went surfing in the morning and we took a historic tour, hitting a coffee factory (free samples are always yummy) and seeing Captain Cook's (yes, the famous Captain Cook in Peter Pan was modeled after this guy) grave marking. The coolest part was that we were at the sanctuary where people who were running away from the king hid out b/c they had broken a rule escaped. On a side note, they had stupid rules there. An example is if a woman ate a banana, she would be executed. Anyways, my sister and I kicked off our shoes and ran into the water to find TURTLES only a foot away from our feet. They just swam around. It was SO COOL! The next day we were in Kauai. We went to this fern grotto- a cave w/fern growing from it. It's a very cool site and appurently lots of people choose to get married there. I mean it's cool, but not THAT cool. We stopped and saw lots of pretty sites. This is the island where most of the celebrities come by and we saw the hotel and sites where Elvis filmed "Blue Lagoon". The next day we took a helicopter ride over the island. This was THE MOST AMAZING thing ever. The sites we saw, it's only seen in movies. Honestly, a falls is in Jurassic Park, a cave is in King Kong...what I saw made the whole trip. It sealed the deal. Hawaii is what it is from that helicopter. I did get sick from the ride but that doesn't affect what I thought of the experience.
Very cool trip overall. Met a couple of nice people, aquainted myself w/a stalker who my whole family learned to try to avoid. We even changed the place we ate just so we could avoid him. My sister and I didn't go to the club on the last night so he wouldn't get all like, "Let's swap phone numbers!" No, but I was SO CLOSE to the shuttlebus to the airport I was about to get on, when he comes up and is like, "I KNEW I'd see you, I just knew it." What a creepy guy. Glad I don't have to deal w/him anymore. The ship was beautiful, not fun b/c more designed for older people and my sis and I had our own room so we found ways to entertain ourselves. Oh and the coolest thing. On the plane ride from Hawaii to San Fran, I sat next to a girl who is best friends w/Nora Denker. She has visited SSFS numerous times and sat in in our creative writing class. Small world or what?
And now I am so ready to go back to Boston College!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/acedia/littlegent/bouncy.gif) bouncy
|
August 15th, 2005
04:32 pm
I'll prolly be writing in this thing many times this wk as I sort through everything I feel. I think this is my only outlet. The day has been filled with a lot of tears and I'm wondering if they're all worth it. If for every tear that falls, there has been a happy memory that goes with it, or if my tears are all falling and I'm holding onto just salty water at this point. It would make it all a lot easier if I just hated him. I'm willing myself right now to hate him, but I cannot bring myself to do such a thing. So I cry and feel sorry for myself, cuz thats all I can do right now. I wish I still worked this wk...I know, wishing for work. It IS that bad. If I worked, I'd be doing something else besides sitting around and studying. I cannot even bring myself to do that. Like, I have given him EVERYTHING of me...I'm not just talking physically but emotionally. I have loved him w/everything I have and I just feel that he thinks that what I have to give is not enough. It isn't enough to have him, or from keeping him from lying to me. I really wish I didn't care. That I didn't care about his past, that I really don't care for him as much as I do. That would make it a lot easier, but who said love is easy. 95% of me wants this to end so I can I stop thinking about it and never have to deal w/it but that 5% is telling me to stop being so fucking ridiculous, to buck up, work through this and move on in this relationship. It will be tough, you know? I also know that I deserve someone who can give ME everything- all I want is honesty, loyalty and love. Why is that too much to ask for?
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/acedia/littlegent/crushed.gif) crushed
Current Music: With You
|
12:28 am
Jogo6: i want to fight this for u, i really do
Jogo6: but i cant
I feel that nothing I do will ever compare to HER. God, when we were hooking up but he was still going out w/her, he used to talk about her amazing eyes, or the fact that she was the best dancer. And he couldn't break up with her...he could not leave her to be with me. That bugs me still today and I am very insecure.
The other day Duane told me I could look at his email accounts. I thought nothing of it, but today since I was checking my hotmail account, which i do like once every 2-3 wks, I thought I'd look into it. I found a bunch of pictures of her and a video. At BC, he had told me he had deleted all the pictures, and I don't remember asking him to, though he claims I did. Then I find out, he has emailed them to himself, meaning he lied to me. So now, I'm stuck in this void- do I continue going out w/him and wonder if what he is telling me is the truth. God, the fact that he can lie to me without feeling a bit of remorse about a small but important thing, I wonder if it comes to something serious if he can continue to look me in the eye and not bat an eyelid as he lies to my face. What the hell is all the love crap he feeds if he doesn't really mean it? If he's still wrapped up in his ex gf and I was just there for the physical aspects of it b/c he wasn't getting any w/her in college in VA. I don't know if it's worth it, worth knowing that I'm playing second fiddle in his love life, or his thoughts, or wondering if what is coming out of his mouth is a lie. I also don't know if I can handle it. There were fights this summer when I'd wonder if we should still be together, bringing it up but I was bold about it cuz I knew it was nothing to break up over. But now...I'm so scared. I have never been so scared of anything, before. I love him but I don't know what he feels about me. He's wonderful to me, but I don't know anything anymore because I do not want to stay w/someone just because I feel I owe it to them or out of pity as Antonio said. I feel hopeless, and I don't know what to do. I've been crying all day, or tearing up whenever I think about it. We had guests today and as this uncle was talking to me, he must have found it odd that my eyes would tear up. I just need a whole day in bed w/a tissue box. My tissue box is almost empty but I don't have a whole day. I don't think I can talk to him before Hawaii cuz I can't deal w/it, not w/my 2 finals coming up this wk. I don't know what to do.
Since when did I grow up and Jon couldn't even take part in my battles?
Current Mood: crushed
|
August 1st, 2005
08:46 pm - Summer Reminisces
As I was working on some bio work, a firefly flittered outside my window, illuminating his light in search of a mate, daring me to capture him. He, as well as myself, remembered those hot summer nights a time before humidity blanketed this area, where hours were spent capturing lightening bugs and running around in the backyard at night, with the comfort of family and friends on the deck, their laughter echoing through the vastness of the dark. We were larger than life back then, those carefree summer nights were filled with bbqs, parties, bball, organized games of football, and day trips to libraries, museums, baltimore and DC. Deer would pleadingly stare at us through the trees, wishing we would get inside so they could come out to enjoy their nighttime meal. After coming inside, we would play dark room until the parents realized we were awake, usually around 2 in the morning. When we woke up, we would do it all over again, always discovering that the fireflies were never in their jars.
Those were the days- before everyone became consumed with their own lives, before Manisha got psoriasis, before certain families were scratched out of our lives due to the nasty game of picking sides...before life became so damn complicated.
|
July 30th, 2005
07:40 pm
working at forever 21 has really put a lot of things in perspective. I'm working cuz I want to go somewhere for spring break. Some of the girls are working so they can pay for semesters at Montgomery College (the local community college), buy a car, get through another day. One girl is working cuz she is turning 18 in nov and is working towards visiting her mother in portugal, who she hasn't seen in 7 yrs b/c her dad does not allow her to visit and her mother cannot come here. The amount we make and work will not be enough money to visit her mom. and boyfriends. oh gosh, even though i already appreciate duane a TON, working there definately makes me appreciate him more. One girl came to work w/a horrible bruise on her arm. I am almost 99% sure her bf did it, specially since she's told me stories that he has been arrested multiple times, but she sticks by a story that she got into a fight w/her brother. Another girl is dating someone more than a yr younger than her- she's turning 17 this wk and her bf will remain 15 for sometime. A 17 yr old is dating a 20 yr old who has 2 kids already. And finally, a girl who just last night talked hours about her bf lovingly, is unsure if she is still w/him today. From what it sounded like, he might have cheated on her.
As much as we all hate work, it's nice to be around these people, because even on the worst of days, they manage to smile.
|
July 26th, 2005
07:40 pm
My dreams mock me. They know the two things that I need right now. And then I wake up and my hopes are dashed, thus the quote on my AIM profile from Desperate Housewives:
"yes, each night before we fall asleep we lie to ourselves in a desperate, desperate hope that come morning- it will all be true"
Talk about stress and no time for myself this summer. I love playing tourist in this area, going to the zoo and museums and hanging out in Baltimore, but there hasn't been much time for much. No time for myself. Except Sunday which was delicious, only cuz awesome nor fantastic really describes it and it was a day that I needed. My rents went up to Long Island for the day, and Duane visited and it was surreal having him in my house, showing him my area, like passing by my elementary school and then taking him to SSFS. Granted, SSFS looked like a dump cuz of the stupid construction going on, the camps treating it like crap and the random camp people polluting the grounds but still sharing all of it with him was the best thing ever cuz I never thought I'd be able to do that with a significant other in the near future. I just hope that before he leaves, he meets a few more people, the most important being jon and my sister. my sister will be hard cuz of my mom but my sis can always see him when she visits me at college. Correction: IF.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/acedia/littlegent/mellow.gif) calm
|
July 3rd, 2005
06:10 pm - Summer
What an insane summer. No time to breathe, no time to enjoy. Cuddling sessions are too short, phone convos too long, no time for naps, no time for my feet to recuperate from a day at work. These past 2 Fridays I have had tests in my bio class and this friday is the final. And you'd think it would all be over but the Monday right after that starts my 2nd session. I cannot wait to get back to BC, it will be like a vacation, to say the least. There are many possibilities of things to for the 4th, but I don't know. I don't think I have spent a whole day at home, just in my pjs in awhile. Part of me is like, "get off your ass and have a little fun, you deserve it," and then there's "do something w/duane cuz its your 7 mths and a fun holiday that you should spend w/him" and then there's the good pooja "work on your presentation and study for the final." I can't remember the last time I had a chance to think or write. I miss MFW. Even if it were naptime, it was time for myself, time to think, time to relax. Now, anytime I get off class early I run to see Duane even if for 5 minutes, just to cuddle, or anything else, then rush home for studying or work. Work is painful, my legs are always in pain afterwards and I am just so physically tired. I am honestly never at home. My sister has been trying to get some driving practice w/my car but my car is barely here. I'm so tired...
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/acedia/littlegent/drained.gif) drained
|
June 13th, 2005
05:34 pm - My Summer
We argue all the time. And it's all about stupid stuff, so i don't get why we do it. Grrrr, it's really frustrating and though it doesn't make it any less enjoyable to talk, it gets tiring and mundane. Maybe it's stress from not seeing him all the time like back in college, but whatever it is, I hope it stops. I always thought it was so great that we knew how to get along while living together, but maybe we don't know how to get along while being apart.
I hate driving to college park and back everyday. Traffic drives me insane, people drive stupidly in the area, and when it rains, it's like people decide to go 5 miles an hr. for no reason at all. Oh, speaking of no reason at all, traffic on the beltway decides to slow down and stop for nothing. I try to avoid the beltway as much as possible now. And PG county scares the crap out of me. Like I'm sure it's not really THAT bad, but me, a sheltered SSFS and then BC student in my little soccer minivan bumbling along, driving around in PG County. Yes, I am more than sheltered.
No, I'm not really in a bitter mood. Or maybe I am, who knows? Biology, arguing and my road rage are starting to take its toll on me. Part of me is wondering how I could balance it all if I happen to get a job, which I don't think I can or will, considering that the job market sucks and I have bio tests every week, 5-7 page lab reports due every couple of weeks and all sorts of fun stuff. Most of the time I just want to come home and sleep and never go out. My mom had to force me to go out last weekend, she didn't want me home.
I like busy weeks, maybe this week will keep me occupied. I am like a little kid who must do something at all times, instead of just sitting around. When I go to the temple tomorrow, maybe I'll pray for a little sanity. I don't know who I'm joking...but if it works, maybe I'll start believing in God again.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/acedia/littlegent/angry.gif) cynical
Current Music: 99.1 ~la musica espanol
|
June 2nd, 2005
07:00 pm - Summertime
I remember the summers where there were no plans and I was to play all day. Where did those go? Now it's rushing from one place to the next, whether it is rushing to class because traffic sucks or rushing back home or rushing to some other commitment. But it's exciting, it's exciting being busy and having a day that is unlike yesterday, though I do have to complain of a perpetual headache which I cannot rid myself of. I think it is from being on the phone all the time and when I'm not on the phone I'm listening to loud music either in my car or room. What can I do?
I can't wait till tomorrow. Finally get to see my Duaney. That is finally MY time, which I am really looking forward to. He came to Maryland yesterday to spend the whole summer at his cousin's place which is only like 10 min. away from UMD where I take classes which is perfect. I was thinking about these past 6 months since Saturday is mine and Duane's 6 month anniversary since this is my longest relationship. I never thought I could be with one person for more than 3 months, and now all of a sudden it's 6 months. I know, you're probably thinking, "3 months? Pooja, you're never gonna end up with someone!" I honestly never planned on spending a lifetime with one person. I had too many plans, too many things I want to do in life that I could never expect someone else to just drop their life to join me. But who knows? Plans change, people change...I know a 6 month relationship does not guarantee anything but 6 months is just a hell of a lot longer than I thought I would ever be with someone, so maybe there is hope for me after all.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/acedia/littlegent/chipper.gif) cheerful
Current Music: garbage
|
May 28th, 2005
10:36 am - It's Sophie's Fault!
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Pooja
2. Pooji
3. Pookie
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. charmgrrl9
2. mdterpgurl331
3. thaelement4life
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. my eyes
2. my smile
3. my legs
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. that my skin is real sensitive
2. my feet are ugly
3. my skin gets really dry easily
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. indian
2. indian
3. did i mention indian? Yes, I am an FBI...full blooded indian
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. being alone in life
2. accidents/violence that causes death
3. heights
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. duane
2. a smile
3. clothes, only for other people b/c if i had a choice, i'd go nude
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. blue pajama pants
2. the ssfs "kindle the spirit" shirt
3. gold nailpolish
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
(current favorites)
1. Linkin Park
2. Howie Day
3. 50 Cent...I'm growing on it
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. someone who makes me laugh
2. honesty, which includes fidelity
3. constant support
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
1. i love Duane <======= pick this as the lie!
2. i got a tatoo
3. i am a sex addict
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. eyes
2. abs
3. amazing body
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. reading
2. shopping
3. volleyball
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. play outside on this nice day
2. give my Duaney a big hug...riiiiight, a hug! *wink*
3. go to the zoo and art museum
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED:
1. doctor
2. archeologist
3. teacher
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. australia
2. spain
3. brazil
THREE KID'S NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. ananya
2. anita
3. anisha
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. fall in love
2. live in another country
3. influence someone's life
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. i love, worship and cry over sports
2. i would rather kick it w/the boys
3. insensitive when it comes to other people's feelings
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A CHICK:
1. i enjoy dressing up
2. shopping
3. i am a princess!
THREE CELEB CRUSHES:
1. paul walker
2. josh hartnett
3. brad pitt
THREE PEOPLE THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:
1. Duaney
2, 3. eh anyone else, doesn't matter
Current Mood: relaxed
Current Music: Eminem, Toy Soldiers
|
April 19th, 2005
04:36 pm
i don't know why I get like this. Like, I'm really happy and excited and want to go out and do things and then a few days later I just want to crawl up into a ball and never see anyone again. Duane deals wonderfully with my changing mood swings but sometimes i don't think I do. And for some reason, with the winding down school yr. I want to go home. Just, so when I feel like this, I CAN actually crawl up in a ball and not see anyone. I don't know if i like being in this mood when hannah's around nor do I like being like this around Duane cuz it's not fair, he didn't do anything, yet no matter how many times I assure him that it's not him he does not believe me. I always thought I was a people person but being around people 24-7 has proved otherwise. Even with the prospect of the start of the volleyball tournament tonight is not exciting me. I don't know what has gotten into me- it was such a wonderfully perfect weekend and now i'm all like this.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/acedia/littlegent/blah.gif) blah
|
April 11th, 2005
09:20 pm
Only cuz I don't want to do my Islam paper, am I killing time. I stole this off of Jen's lj!
what i've done in bold:
snuck out of a house
gotten lost in your city
saw a shooting star
been to any other countries besides the united states
had a serious surgery
gone out in public in your pajamas
kissed a stranger
hugged a stranger
been in a fist fight
been arrested
done drugs
had alcohol
laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose
pushed all the buttons on an elevator
made out in an elevator
slept in an elevator
swore at your parents
kicked a guy where it hurts
been in love
been close to love
been to a casino
been skydiving
broken a bone
been high
skinny-dipped
skipped school
flashed someone
saw a therapist
done the splits
played spin the bottle
gotten stitches
drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour
bitten someone
gotten the chicken pox
kissed a member of the opposite sex
kissed a member of the same sex
crashed into a friend's car
been to japan
ridden in a taxi
been dumped
shoplifted
had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
stole something from your job
gone on a blind date
lied to a friend
had a crush on a teacher
celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans
been to europe
slept with a co-worker
been married
gotten divorced
had children
saw someone die
been to africa
driven over 400 miles in one day
been to canada
been to mexico
been on a plane
seen the rocky horror picture show
thrown up in a bar
purposely set a part of yourself on fire
eaten sushi
been snowboarding
been moshing at a rock show
been to a moto cross show
lost a child
gone to college
graduated college
done hard drugs
taken painkillers
love someone or miss someone right now
Current Mood: annoyed
|
March 26th, 2005
09:00 am
I got bored, so I got this off of my sister's xanga
WHAT COMES TO MIND
-Hot: Dominican Republic
-Britney Spears: brunette hair just looks bad on her
-NSync: "bye bye bye"
-Real World: Jon cuz he loves(d?) it so much
-Orange: pants I would buy if i felt bold one day
-Fuck: erm...inappropriate
-black: witches
-Insane clown: meghan cassidy cuz she was scared of clowns
-Linkin Park: THE BEST BAND EVER!
-Jack: the nicest guy...yeh torchie!
-Rainbow: a pot o' gold on the other end
-Cherry: flavored medicine
-Cucumber: failed attempt to grow them in our garden
-Sharks: ATTACK! yes, i did see the tv movie last weekend
-Leather: going into leather stores to get high
-Whip: cowboys!!!!!!!!!!
-America: president bush, ew, that's pretty pathetic
-Water: dasani
THIS OR THAT
-Rock or rap: rock
-Rap or R&B: rap
-rock or metal: rock
-Linkin Park or Limp Bizkit: is there even a question? LINKIN PARK!
-Tool or Korn: neither
-Spring or fall: spring
-Shakira or Britney: hmmm...shakira only cuz she sings in spanish
-Marilyn Manson or Rob Zombie: god, neither
-MTV or VH1: MTV
-Buffy or Angel: buffy
-Dawsons Creek Or Gilmore Girls: Gilmore girls
-Football or basketball: basketball
-Summer olympics or winter olympics: summer
-Skiing or snowboarding: i don't like skiing and never tried snowboarding
-Rollerblading or skateboarding: rollerblading
PRIVATE LIFE
-Crush: yup yup
-Do you love anyone right now: YES!
-Have you ever been in love: IN love? no
-How many hearts have you broken: none that i know of
-How many people broke your heart: is it really necessary to count?
-So what's your significant other like: he is absolutely wonderful...I LOVE YOU DUANEY!
-Do you go more by looks or personality: hmmm...looks intially attracts me and then it goes to personality
-Ever kiss a friend: yes
-Are you still friends: yes
-Do you smoke: nope
-How about weed: never
-Acid: never
-Ecstasy: never
-Crack, heroin, anything else: never
-Are you a sissy who drinks Mike's Hard Lemonade and wine coolers: haha...i have, but it's not a regular thing
-beer or liquor: liquor
WOULD YOU EVER
-bungee jump: i am so scared of heights, but i would do it w/a really good friend
-Swim with dolphins: yep
-Go rock climbing: i have before and that's enough for me
-Change your religion: already have
-Turn your back on your friends for personal gain: no
-Steal a friend's boyfriend/girlfriend: a friend's? no
-Lie to the police: it depends
-Run from the police: depends
-Be an exotic dancer: now, if i learn to dance maybe I would
HAVE YOU EVER
-Flashed someone: nah
-told the person you liked how you felt: yes
-Gotten really REALLY wasted: yes
-Skateboarded: does standing on a skateboard count?
-Skinny dipped: no
-Stolen anything from a store: nah
-Been to a concert: yup yup
-Been to another country: yes
-Talked back to an adult: of course
-Given money to some homeless person: yes
-Tried to kill yourself: hmmmm...
-Cried to get out of trouble: OF COURSE!
THE LAST THING
-You ate: indian food
-You drank: water
-The last place you went: Outta the Way Cafe
-Last thing you bought: dinner
-Last person you saw: my dad
-Last person you talked to online: gosh, i can't remember
-Last person you hugged: my mommy
-Last person you kissed: my mommy
-Last song you heard: dunno, some songs on the radio as i kept pressing the snooze button
YES OR NO
-Do you like cows: i like beef...does that count?
-Do the voices talk only to you: erm...of course not!
-Are you straight: yes
-Are you short: i'd say medium height
-Do you own a hot pink shirt: possibly, i'm not sure
-Do you like Marilyn Manson: no
-Do you shop at Hot Topic: browse through
-Do you remember your dreams: not really
-Can people read you like a book: nah
-Do you talk alot: occasionally
-Are you afraid of clowns: nope
-Can you drive: well, I have my license...now, whether or not I can drive is a diff matter
-Are you an only child: i have my baby!
- last movie you saw: miracle
- last movie you saw on the big screen: geez, Oceans 12, maybe?
- last phone number you called: duane
- last show you watched on TV: UNC beating Villanova
- last time you showered: yesterday afternoon
- last time you cried: last sat, was it? i didnt actually cry but there were tears...but i really bawled when umd lost to clemson the 3rd time
- last time you smiled: this morning
- last time you laughed: earlier when joking around my w/mom and sister
- last thing you said: this food is good (intelligent, huh?)
- last thing you smelled: myself ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do you...
-smoke? Nope
-do drugs? no
-drink? yeah
-have sex? yes
-sleep with stuffed animals? does duaney count?
-have a dream that keeps coming back? yes
-believe there is life on other planets? Yeah
-read the newspaper? THE COMICS!
-have any gay or lesbian friends? of course
-believe it's possible to remain faithful forever? yeah
-consider yourself tolerant of others? not always
-consider police a friend or foe? foe
-like the taste of alcohol? not really...only if it's mixed right do i like it
-believe in astrology? yes
-pray? no
-believe in god? it's a little complicated...maybe i believe in a higher force out there
-go to church? nah...temple sometimes to make my mom happy
-have any secrets? oh yes
-have any pets? nah
-go to or plan to go to college? BOSTON COLLEGE!!!!
-have a degree? no
-talk to strangers who instant message you? i have before
-wear hats? yup
-have any piercings? Ears-3
-have any tattoos? contemplating it
-wish on stars? sometimes
-like your handwriting? i like my handwriting sometimes, it changes w/my mood
-have any bad habits? we all do
-believe in witches? yes
-believe in Satan? Nah
-believe in ghosts? yes
-believe in Santa? as long as I get gifts, I'll believe whatever you want
-believe in the Easter Bunny? no that's just too weird...a giant hopping rabbit...no way
-believe in the Tooth Fairy? hey, money counts as gifts
-have a second family? i have an adopted mother and her son is my adopted brother
-trust others easily? yes, in the beginning but then as I get to know them better, less so
-like sarcasm? yes
-take walks in the rain? if i have to get to food, then yes cuz nothing gets in the way of me and food
-sing in the shower? yes ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Name: pooja
-Do you like it? I LOVE IT!
-Birthday: march 31st...coming up soon!
-Location: boston sounds much cooler than derwood
-Natural hair color: black
-Current hair color: black with reddish/blondish color b/c my streaks are moving down my hair
-Eye color: brown
-Height: 5 6
-Coke/pepsi: coke, specially some CHERRY COKE!
-Day/night: i like the sun but i'm more awake at night
-Lights on/off: depends on what i'm doing
-aol/aim: eh, i use both
-CD/casette: cd
-DVD/VCR: dvd
-Jeans/khakis: jeans
-Car/truck: minivan!
-Tall/short: tall
-Lunch/dinner: dinner
-Lipstick/Lipgloss: lipgloss
NICKNAMES: pooj, poo, pooji, pidge, pj, pepe
DO YOU LIKE TO SING ON THE TOILET: WHAT? no
10. STATE: MD for my TERPS
11. SEX: i'm a girlie
12. RIGHTY OR LEFTY: righty
13. HAVE YOU EVER CHEATED: yes
14. DO YOU HAVE YOUR LICENSE: yes
15. DO YOU HAVE A CAR: my early 90s green mercury villager minivan
*********FAVORITES*********
16. MOVIES: ever after
17. SONGS: i have a lot
18.FAVORITE SINGER: singer? my band is LP
19. TV SHOW(s): alias and desperate housewives
20. ACTOR: eh...any hottie
21. ACTRESS: julia roberts
22. FOOD: indian, mexican, thai, italian...can you tell i LOVE food?
23. NUMBER: 3
24. CARTOON: simpsons
25. DISNEY CHARACTER: ariel
*********LOVE LIFE ETC*********
26. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED: it's starting to become something I want
27. HOW OLD DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR FIRST CHILD: i kinda wanna be somewhat young (meaning late 20s) and after marriage
28. HOW OLD DO YOU WANNA BE WHEN YOU GET MARRIED: mid 20s
29. WOULD YOU HAVE KIDS BEFORE MARRIAGE: hells no
30. DO YOU HAVE A BF/GF: MY DUANEY!
31. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH: yes
*************THIS OR THAT********
32: GUYS/GIRLS: guys
33. YELLOW/ORANGE: orange
34. GREEN/BLUE: blue
35. PINK/PURPLE: PINK, duh
36. SUMMER/WINTER: summer
37. NIGHT/DAY: both
38. HANGIN OUT/CHILLIN: aren't they the same thing?
39.DOPEY/FUNNY: funny
*********ALL ABOUT YOU*********
42. WHAT SCHOOL DO YOU GO TO: BOSTON COLLEGE
43. WHAT'S A MAJOR TURN ON FOR YOU: i think it's when a guy doesn't have a shirt on and they're wearing pants but you can see their boxers
44. HOW FAR WOULD YOU GO ON A FIRST DATE: a kiss
*********THE PERSON YOU KNOW WHO IS*********
45. MOST BLONDE: that cheerleader though I don't know her, so ashley matthews...i think pallavi acts the most blonde
46. BEST PERSON: laila
47. NICEST: kendra
48. FUNNIEST: aki
49. STRANGEST: dimitri
50. WHICH 6 PEOPLE ARE YOU OPEN WITH AND TRUST THE MOST? duane, jon, will, dimitri, sophie, elena
51. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF SOUL MATES: i believe in them
52. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU CRIED OR GOT TEARY ABOUT: personal
53. ARE YOU HAPPY: yes
54. WHAT IS AN OBJECT YOU CANT LIVE WITHOUT: comp w/internet connection
55. LOVE OR LUST: love
56.TRUST OR HONESTY: both
57. SILVER OR GOLD: silver
58. DIAMOND OR PEARL: diamond
59. SUNSET OR SUNRISE: sunset
63. WHAT COLOR UNDIES/BOXERS/BREIFS ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW: pink!
64. WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: nothing
65. WHAT ARE THE LAST DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE NUMBER: 8844
66. WHERE WOULD YOU WANT TO GO ON YOUR HONEYMOON: somewhere beatiful that i haven't ever been before...fiji?
67. WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX: eyes
68:WHAT'S YOUR FAVORTIE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL: art history
70. WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY: duaney, friends, a good song
71. WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET: dunno
72. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS OR GLASSES: i have glasses
73. WHAT'S THE BEST ADVICE GIVEN TO YOU: if you like someone, you gotta let them know cuz you've got nothing to lose, you never know how they feel about you and you never know what you may be missing out on~ tyler
74. HAVE YOU EVER WON ANY SPECIAL AWARDS: no
75. WHAT ARE YOUR FUTURE GOALS: live abroad-preferably italy, impact someone's life, fall in love
76. WORST SICKNESS YOU EVER HAD: i think when i had ecoli in me, twice
77. DO YOU LIKE FUNNY OR SCARY MOVIES BETTER: funny
78. ON THE PHONE OR IN PERSON: person
79. HUGS OR KISSES: hugs, but kisses from my duaney are always acceptable
80. WHAT SONG SEEMS TO REFLECT YOU THE MOST: too many
81. MICHAEL JACKSON/R.KELLY: both are pedophiles…that’s like asking which pedophile is nicer? THEYRE ALL PEDOPHILES ~payal
82. DO YOU HAVE ANY ENEMIES: not that i'm aware of
83. WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST FEAR: i think honestly, never falling in love but then there's the dark
84. WOULD YOU RATHER BE RICH OR FAMOUS: rich
85: IF YOU DIED TOMORROW- WHO WOULD YOU LEAVE EVERYTHING TO?: my sister, prolly
86. IF YOU HAD 24 HOURS LEFT TO LIVE, WHO WOULD YOU SPEND THAT TIME WITH: duaney, jon, will, my sis
87. DO YOU WANNA DIE IN YOUR SLEEP OR A DIFFERENT WAY: in sleep
88. IF E.T. KNOCKED ON YOUR DOOR HOLDING UP A PEACE SIGN ASKING TO USE YOUR PHONE WHAT WOULD YOU DO: scream then slam the door in his face
89. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU TALKED TO THE PERSON YOU LIKED: last night/this morning
91:WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL: puppies
92. ARE YOU AN ALCOHOLIC: no
93. WHO SENT THIS TO YOU: my sister's xanga
94.. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT PERSON: my baby!
95.WHEN DID YOU BECOME FRIENDS: friends? we're spose to be friends?
96. DID YOU LIKE THIS SURVEY: eh...it killed some time and I deleted the ques I did not like
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/acedia/littlegent/sleepy.gif) sleepy
|
March 24th, 2005
02:50 pm - God Have Mercy on Our Souls
Wow...lots been going on. I don't remember the last time I updated but it's the second trip home in a span of 2 wks. It's nice being home but this visit I have tons to do and no time for anything. My room for next yr. is right across the cafeteria and I've come to the conclusion that the shorter walk to food means that I'm gonna get fat. After watching MTV Spring Break I have resolved to go somewhere for spring break next yr. and go crazy (yeah right, there's always the rents). NCAA brackets suck this yr. and the only one doing well are the terps who are in the friggin' NIT. Elena visited me in Boston as soon as I got back from spring break and it was so nice seeing a Springer in my new home- her friends were fun people too, though I must say that girl has been having a lot of fun at college, and I'll admit, I thought Elena would be the last person to change when she got to college. Apparently I'm the last one to change in college. I saw the other Pooja at BC, and to tell you quite frankly, I was disappointed. I thought she would be at least a little pretty but nope, she has a crooked nose. And things are still wonderful with the boyfriend, who I love dearly.
So this world is going to shit. I know, quite a statement but there's this guy who stands outside of the Archdiocese in Boston (for those who don't know, it was the start of the priest pedophile scandal and they had to pay a lot of money for settlements) once a wk. but because of the cold, he wasn't there for awhile. Well, he was there last wk. holding that same sign "God have mercy on our souls" and Duane asked him why he has a sign like that. He says that with all the bad things happening in the world, with the church being involved with worldly things(money), that the second coming of Jesus is soon. One of the examples of bad things happening in the world was school shootings, and lo and behold, a school shooting happens just days afterwards. Anyways, this man is knowledgable in theology and an extremely interesting person to listen to, but it still leaves you with a creepy feeling, you know? "God have mercy on our souls" now more recently I haven't been a person with faith, but with a proclamation like that, it just leaves you wondering...
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/acedia/littlegent/exhausted.gif) tired
Current Music: Freshmen
|
February 15th, 2005
04:24 pm - Valentine's Day
Yesterday was the first time I had a boyfriend on valentine's day. That was such an amazing day. Before I always bitched and moaned about Vday as such a consumer holiday, but it's kind of nice showing the person you love that you love them so much. No, I haven't changed but Duane is such a sweetheart and did indeed change the way I see Vday, a bit. The roses make my room smell glorious, I can't stop looking at the teddy bear that is facing me and I can't wait to watch The Notebook. Even though we couldnt really celebrate because I had a test earlier today, we'll prolly make it up this weekend. It was both of our first valentine's day with someone else, so that made it all the more special.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/acedia/littlegent/happy.gif) happy
Current Music: Candyshop
|
February 4th, 2005
09:36 pm - 2 months
I must have done something good to deserve something so wonderful. We have been together 2 months today...and Duane is still so good to me. He brought me breakfast in bed and fed me, took care of me when I came home from clubbing this morning and needed a shower but I was locked out of my room, listened to my terrible clubbing stories without getting THAT upset because of all the creepy guy stories I had to share, is taking such good care of me because I've got a little cold (when cold's happen, you know how I tend to become such a baby about it and overdramatize) and doesn't mind staying in with me and watching "sixteen candles." Wow...he's amazing. How did I end up being so lucky?
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/acedia/littlegent/cranky.gif) cranky
Current Music: something or other on the radio
|
January 26th, 2005
11:52 pm - Updates
Some quickie updates:
*there is entirely too much snow in Boston. And I don't get why BC doesn't close school down
*The Terps just beat Duke
*BC men's basketball is now 1 of 2 teams undefeated
*I love Duane a lot, a lot
*I'm taking an art history course that brings back Bryan memories. That was an amazing class- Jake, Sophie, Jon, Jake, Kosbob, Ace, Julia, Jake
*I kind of faciliated a match-making here at Greycliff between my best friend here and this girl who is so wonderful
*The conversations around here are getting a hell of a lot deeper and better
*I now have Alias AND Desperate Housewives
*There is a lot more gossip now
*My relationship with Jon has gotten a lot stronger and I love and worship what we have now
*My cousin visited me on Sunday and was the second family member to know about Duane but the first to meet him as my boyfriend
*My professors this semester are a hell of a lot better than last semester, so there's hope that I'll do better this semester
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/acedia/littlegent/ecstatic.gif) ecstatic
Current Music: World on Fire
|
January 2nd, 2005
06:34 pm
Writing is something I never got enough time to do in college. I'm sure there was time, but I was not motivated. I don't think one semester of college has changed me. 2004 sure did, though. 2004 was an awesome yr. of just so many new and exciting things- among the fact that I graduated from high school and moved to Boston. Well, "moved" in the college sense. I always hoped '04 would be an awesome yr, which, in retrospect, I can say it was. I don't think I have any expectations for '05...just take it as it comes and hope everything from '04 that has been going well, will just carry into '05. Can you tell I'm driving myself crazy 'cuz I want to go back to college but I have 2 wks. TWO WEEKS?! Gah...must find something to do with all my time.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/acedia/littlegent/hungry.gif) hungry
Current Music: Boulevard of Broken Dreams
|
January 1st, 2005
10:48 pm
I feel that I have nothing to say...spent the week at the Outer Banks as usual and miss Duane desperately...and a lot of time on my hands.
Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
-Never...I fail at keeping my resolutions so there's no point in making one for next yr.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
-no
What countries did you visit?
-Costa Rica
What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
-Nothing really, I don't really feel that I lacked something...maybe more independence from my rents but college takes care of that
What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
-Lord...too many. Meybe Dec 18, for personal reasons
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
-Graduating from high school
What was your biggest failure?
-Sucky 1st semester college grades
Did you suffer illness or injury?
-No
What was the best thing you bought?
-Green Day tickets
Whose behavior merited celebration?
-Payal, my sister, for being who she is
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
-I mean, no one has really made me appalled and depressed, just certain events: Duane when he turned violent under the influence of alcohol, Jarrett at times and when Chris opened an umbrella in my car several times (b/c I'm superstitious)
Where did most of your money go?
-Shopping, food (starbucks specially)
What did you get really, really, really excited about?
-Linkin Park concert, going to Boston-BC, Duane
What song will always remind you of 2004?
-"leavin on a jet plane"
Compared to this time last year, are you...
i. happier or sadder? i would like to think happier
ii. thinner or fatter? fatter
iii. richer or poorer? poorer
What do you wish you'd done more of?
-studying
What do you wish you'd done less of?
-studying
How will you [have spent] Christmas?
-Family
Did you fall in love in 2004?
-Hmmm...possibly in the process
What was your favorite TV program?
-Alias and Desperate Housewives
What was the best book you read?
-Wives of Henry VIII
What was your greatest musical discovery?
-Green Day, Seether
What did you want and get?
-a good guy, the Sox to win the world series
What did you want and not get?
-good grades
What was your favorite film of this year?
-Shrek 2
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
-a better summer
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
-erm...jeans and a shirt...a lot more tank tops since I've moved to Boston (tank tops in the cold?! I know, right?)
What kept you sane?
-friends
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
-the list is too long...I can't pick just one
What political issue stirred you the most?
-Bush winning...grrr, specially since I was at the Kerry rally
Who did you miss?
-Too many but mainly my other half, Jon at college and now, Duane
Who was the best new person you met?
-the best? hmmmm, that's hard...Haha, Duane
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
-You don't have to stick to all your little rules that you make in life, it's sometimes better to just wing it and not take life too seriously!
Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
For what it's worth, it was worth all the while...I hope you had the time of your life
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/acedia/littlegent/okay.gif) okay
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
regicidal's journal